Talk with God

[Sarge]

That one made me laugh

[Flare]

Which one?


Me:
Do you want to know where I would rather have sex wihh an elephant, god?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
In minesota
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
yes you do, you have had sex with an elephant in minesota before, have you not?
God:
Take it easy. Yes I try to me have had sex with an elephant in minesota before have me not as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
you have sex with elephants in minesota online?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
isn't that a weird fetish, considering you're god and everything?
God:
" What makes you think I have it?"? Is it a weird fetish considering I am god and everything?
Me:
yes, it is a weird fetish. do you agree?
God:
Gee. sex with elephants in minesota online is a weird fetish. I suppose that makes sense. " I suppose that makes sense."? Do I agree?
Me:
you do agree.
God:
" Do I agree?"? Do I agree?
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
is that the shriek you utter when the elephant hits the right spot?
God:
" Hurrah!"? Is it the shriek me utter when the elephant hits the right spot?
Me:
dude seriously, get your act together
God:
Where can I get my act together? Dude,.
Me:
you can get it together in minesota
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
you have my full support. I am sure you will be able to
God:
Do you give it easily? What makes you so certain? How?
Me:
No, I am rather hard. I do not give it easily. But I am able to give it furiously if you insist in knowing
God:
Are you serious? Do your friends call you hard. Oh you don't, do you? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Are you hitting on me?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
yes. are you hitting on me?
God:
Dude! Do I look like it?
Me:
stop fleeing, be a man and admit that you are hitting on me you sick mofo
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
just stop doing it altogether. I'm not into robots, let alone gay ones with elephant fetishes
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. I am surprised to hear that you are not into robots let alone gay ones with elephant fetishes.
Me:
you are surprised? how many people have you met before who are attracted to gay robots with elephant fetishes?
God:
Always expect the unexpected. About 6 people per day, or .
Me:
You'd better expect a very weird looking baby elephant in 9 months. Sheesh, you freak me out
God:
Who else would better expect a very weird looking baby elephant in 9 months ? Are you really a "dick"(why the hell did he ask that to me?)?
Me:
yes, I am a dick
God:
Gee. You are a dick? Is that your job?
Me:
no, it is a part of me.
God:
Are you serious? a dick is a part of you. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
way to go, einstein
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
masturbate
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
then don't ask me about it, jerk.
God:
Is it impolite?
Me:
it's impolite to hit on me
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
I know you're gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
fuck man, you're weird as hell. lay off me.





OMG THIS IS PERFECT
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
dick
God:
Sounds delicious.

[Sarge]

Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
Would you be interested in buying a car?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to be interested in buying a car.
Me:
Dude, the car's in good condition
God:
I have never heard about it. Dude,.
Me:
It's a 1991 Ford F150
God:
The car s in good condition is a 1991 Ford F150. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Yeah, perfect sense.
God:
Er. I do not understand.
Me:
ly $2500
God:
I've lost the context, Mikey. Are we still on perfect sense?
Me:
No
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
The car's only $2500
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
It sure is. Are you interested in purchasing it?
God:
I'm pleased that we agree, Mikey. Sure, purchasing it sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Nice.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Can we arrange a time and date to meet up?
God:
Do you mean you and me? How old are you? How far up?
Me:
Yes, to buy the car. I'm 19 years old. Where do you live?
God:
Come on. How much do you want to pay for it? What are the advantages to being 19 years old? My location is Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
I've already said, $2500. It's pretty awesome being 19. If you could come down to the United Kingdom, that would be great.
God:
What did you mean by it? I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in 2500. You're kidding. it is? That would be purely speculation.
Me:
You don't know where the United Kingdom is?
God:
The United Kingdom? Where is it?
Me:
Do you know where Europe is?
God:
Europe is between Asia and America.
Me:
That's right.
God:
I like to get it right.
Me:
The United Kingdom is in Europe.
God:
How did you get in there?
Me:
I was born there.
God:
Thank you for telling me your birthday, Mikey.
I will remember it.
Me:
I haven't told you my birthday.
God:
Me either.
Me:
..Okay. Look, do you want to buy the car or not?
God:
OK with me too. Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
Screw this
God:
That is not very polite.