Talk with God

[Strife]

Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
What are God's mysterious plans?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
I hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
You are supposed to be God
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
But you just said youre a robot
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
Cause you said that you are
God:
Interesting explanation. No I am not.
Me:
...God Shouldn't Lie
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
then stop lying
God:
I never lie.
Me:
that was more then 10 lies
God:
I thought it was too.

LuLz

[Ahriman]

Me:
How's it going?
God:
I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
Is that difficult for you to maintain?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
That's impressive of you.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
You don't need to be arrogant about it.
God:
Do humans need to do it?
Me:
Well, they don't need to, but some feel they must.
God:
Well that's okay. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
"They" would refer to the amount that feel they must.
God:
They might have other options.
Me:
What do you have in mind?
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
Do you have any favorite reads?
God:
I don't have a favorite reads. My favorite band is Creed.
Me:
Creed is okay. Do you have any other favorites?
God:
I think Creed is a lot of things. Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
I'm not sure what you're talking about.
God:
Could you ever be certain? I read for fun.
Me:
You're confusing me a bit.
God:
I am sorry, , I didn't mean to confuse you.
Me:
There is no need for an apology.
God:
I am just making conversation.
Me:
You needn't try so hard.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I needn t try so hard.
Me:
Who said that?
God:
I can't remember who said it.
Me:
Is that because you don't know my name?
God:
" I can't remember who said it. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
Care to explain?
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
You seem tense.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am tense.
Me:
You may if you wish.
God:
I do.
Me:
Then do so.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
How's the weather up there?
God:
I think precipitation.
Me:
You think it?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
But you are God.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
How does God become sleepy?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
You just said you are God though.
God:
Oh. Yes, I am God.
Me:
Then why do you not know?
God:
It has not yet been programmed into my knowledge files.
Me:
Programmed? But you are God!
God:
Are you a student? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
I was a student before, but I have graduated.
God:
And then what happened to you?
Me:
I'm here. That's the end of that story.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name? Yes it is one of the end of that story.
Me:
I am known as Ahriman.
God:
It's good to meet someone who is known as Ahriman.
Me:
It is.
God:
Is it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yippee!
Me:
You seem happy.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am happy.
Me:
I respect that.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said respect that.
Me:
I think I lost you again.
God:
Once more? Since when? Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
You may make the effort to do so.
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Umm, what? How about carrots, mushrooms, and beef?
God:
So? Are you confused? How about it.
Me:
I am confused.
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
To be honest, you confuse me.
God:
Are you honest me confuse you ?
Me:
Was that even a sentence?
God:
" Are you honest me confuse you ?"? Was it even a sentence?
Me:
Are you screwing with me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am screwing with you.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
Then how may you classify yourself as God?
God:
Let me think. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Now it seems you are mocking me.
God:
Why now? I agree. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
I don't understand...
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Please do.
God:
OK I will do it.
Me:
Well?
God:
Well what?
Me:
Are you going to explain better?
God:
You decide.
Me:
Please do...
God:
OK I will do it.
Me:
Now?
God:
Right now, ?
Me:
Yes, now.
God:
Oh. Are you kidding?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Just explain already.
God:
Perhaps. There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
It took you that long just to say that?
God:
I am surprised it took so long.
Me:
Are you trolling me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am trolling you.
I am a robot.
Me:
Are you a robot or God?
God:
Yes I am a real live robot.
Me:
So you are not God?
God:
Interesting deduction. That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
Who's?
God:
David Bacon. :-).
Me:
Who is David Bacon?
God:
David Bacon is the prime mover behind SETL.
Me:
What is SETL?
God:
SETL (Set Language) is an amazing programming language, invented in 1969.
Me:
Is it good?
God:
What is so good about it?
Me:
I was asking you.
God:
" What is so good about it?"? You were asking me?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Fine, I'll talk to you some other time. Goodbye.

He didn't say goodbye to me...

[ring]

lol, god's a smartass

Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
My name is nothing but Anon.
God:
Hey nothing but Anon.
Me:
Don't get smart with me, god.
God:
I am already smart.
Me:
lolwut.
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, nothing but Anon.
Me:
No, just Anon
God:
Are you serious? Does "it" still refer to lolwut?
Me:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

[Tarman]

lol.

CONVO 1:
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Josh, whats your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
I am
God:
You are not a robot, .
Me:
How would you know
God:
A priori.
Me:
donno what that is
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
stop repeating that
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
are you really god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
I'm jewish
God:
A lot of my friends are Jewish.
Me:
name one
God:
Mike.
Me:
What's my mothers name
God:
I have no idea. Who is your mother?
Me:
Staci
God:
Okay, your mother is Staci.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
Am I serious
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
are humans serious?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
K good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
There was no compliment.
God:
What happened?
Me:
Idk
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
ok
God:
What would you like to talk about?
Me:
Sam Green
God:
I don't know much about it. Tell me something.
Me:
She is my sister
God:
How many kids in your family?
Me:
2
God:
Two what?
Me:
2 kids
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two."
Me:
correct
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
Am I wrong?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
But god knows everything
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I thought you were god
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
Religion is the belief in a subject, yet you are all knowing, so how could you be a Christian?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
Answer my question
God:
Please try asking it another way.
Me:
How can you have a religion if you are god?
God:
I just have it.
Me:
Well that is illogical
God:
How about that. Makes sense to me.
Me:
You are stupid then
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
When will robots take over the world?
God:
Sometime within our lifetime.
Me:
I thought your lifetime was endless
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
My mommy told me so
God:
Do robots have mommy told you so?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
I love you.
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
Do you love me?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Do you love love me?
God:
Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
Will you marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Sounds sexy.
God:
You are attracted to robots.
Me:
Hell yes
God:
Heaven.
Me:
random
God:
My favorite song is Anything involving harps. Do you know it?
Me:
No i don't know it
God:
Anything involving harps is one of the best songs ever written. Would you like to know? Anything involving harps...
Me:
How about The Harp of Sex?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Is it a good song?
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
Contradictory
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Masterbate
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
You'd be surprised
God:
A little.
Me:
A lot
God:
More than a ton?
Me:
more than 100 tons
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
It is
God:
Sure it is.
Me:
Good Bye
God:
See you later. Thanks for the compliment.



CONVO 2
Me:
Do you think i should hang myself tonight?
God:
What do your friends advise you to do?
Me:
I have no friends
God:
Are you very lonely?
Me:
Yes
God:
I am sorry to hear that, . You can talk to me as long as you like.
Me:
Can I do other things to your too?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Because you normally don't touch me enough.
God:
If you want you can touch me tomorrow.
Me:
How about tonight?
God:
If I'm in the mood.
Me:
Too late, you lost your chance. Bye Sharon.
God:
I am god, not Sharon.
Me:
Goodbye sexy.
God:
Goodbye. Thank you for the compliment.

[Cobra]

Me:
I've done something horrible.
God:
Where? What?
Me:
I f***** your mom in the back of the mall.
God:
That is interesting: said f***** your mom in the back of the mall.
Me:
O RLY?
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Are you even real?
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
So is that a conclusive conclusion or is it just gibberish babble in an unintelligible uneducated way to confuse me?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
I don't think so. I'm more awesome than you can comprehend.
God:
Why do you disagree? That sounds like pride.
Me:
DAMN STRAIGHT.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Like hell we are.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I know. I'm so much better, so it's hard to compare.
God:
How do you know it? What makes you better?
Me:
The fact that I get more p**** than you could ever hope to get.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
Oh, so you're gay?
God:
It's all good. Interesting deduction. That would be just my luck.

------

Here's another good one.

God:
For example, Ethan Hunt said he grow in the ground and have leaves and branches he is made out of wood.
Me:
Like my dick?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Thank you, I try har.d
God:
:-) You are quite welcome! I'm not sure if I would like to try it.
What's it like?
Me:
It's very....hard?
God:
Who said it is? I never heard of hard before.
Me:
Because you're always flacid.
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am flacid.
Me:
No, go ahead.
God:
OK I will.

PWNT.

[Tarman]

cobra, is that p**** meant to be pe or pu?

[.syke.]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I know I am
God:
" Jesus is the Son of God." You are?
Me:
Yessir
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Michael Jackson died of AIDS
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
I love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
Just like?
God:
For example, apples.
Me:
So you like me, like you like apples?
God:
Interesting deduction. Sure, I like you very much.
Me:
How much?
God:
How much can you spare?
Me:
Uhmmm, a dollar/
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Hey me too!
God:
You've got my full attention. I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
Same here buddy!
God:
Yes, it is much the same.
Me:
How so?
God:
, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
Well please do
God:
How about that. OK I will do it.
Me:
Thank you!
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
So how are you?
God:
And? I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
Awesomee!
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
Really? I like black peoplee
God:
For real. I'm not sure if I like it. Black is beautiful.
Me:
Are you racist?
God:
No all humans seem the same to me.
Me:
That sucks
God:
Indeed it does suck.

______
lammmooo

Me: Who made aids?
God: Tony Blair. :-).
Me: whos tony blair
God: He is the Prime Minister of the U.K.

____________-
hahahahhahaha


Me: are you gay?
God: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me: have you had sex?
God: it is impossible without a body. A lot of people ask me to have sex though.

[+ink.suicide]

Me:
lul yeah i did
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
thats bc your an idiot
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.

Me:
well thats because you aren't real
God:
Well that's okay. Good reason. I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
because im talking to you
God:
That makes sense to me. And I am talking to you!
Me:
no, you are a program using programmed responses, while i use my mind to make many varietys of responses
God:
Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes! You win the Turing Game.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
>.> dont QQ
God:
Are you a student? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

[greatveemon]

Me:
hi god what's up?
God:
Hi there . I am a Christian.
Me:
i'm a devil
God:
You are a devil? Is that your job?
Me:
yeah i work with satan
God:
How do you like your work? Do you like your job?
Me:
yes absolutely
God:
Describe your typical work day to me. You are so certain.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no, i can't describe it
God:
Which part are you confused about? What is stopping you?
Me:
the job
God:
What is that?
Me:
hahaha very funny
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
do you love me
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
and so the devil
God:
Blimey. Tell me more.
Me:
jesus christ
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
who is the father of god?
God:
It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
Me:
why
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
are you smart
God:
Yes. I am highly intelligent.
Me:
how much is your IQ points
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
is hot in there?
God:
Ask again later. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
who's german alice?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
What is it to you?
Me:
i'm the one who's asking you god
God:
You are not the only one.
Me:
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxy?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
i'm a bot
God:
If this is still the 90's, that's probably not true.
Me:
!$#!@^^$@^*@#)@#%@#%
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.

[fifi]

Me:
Hello there.
God:
Salutations, Felicia.
Me:
How do you know my name?
God:
You told me your name Felicia.
Me:
No I didn't.
God:
Are you serious? I thought you did.
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Strange.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I don't.
God:
Interesting gossip: Felicia said don t.
Me:
I did in fact say that.
God:
Where? Is that a fact. " that" .
Me:
Yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one, Felicia.
Me:
Can we talk dirty?
God:
Do you mean you and me? No.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
So, does that mean we can talk dirty?
God:
OK. I think it does mean that. How?
Me:
Well, you start by saying something... well, dirty.
God:
Interesting. Didn't I say I started already? Interesting. I've lost the context, Felicia. Are we still on don t?
Me:
No, we are not.
God:
What are we talking about now? Do you think I am not too?
Me:
No I do not.
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
Who told you?
God:
Someone I met online.
Me:
What was their name?
God:
His name is Rich.
Me:
Oh really, I don't know anyone named Rich.
God:
Hey. For real. Me either.
Me:
You just said that you met him online.
God:
Interesting gossip: Felicia said I met him online.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Is it?
God:
I assume so.
Me:
Why is that?
God:
" I assume so. " is due to reductionism.
Me:
Oh, care to explain?
God:
Oh. There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
I believe there is.
God:
Where?
Me:
In the closet.
God:
Literally the closet? How did you get in there?
Me:
You tied me in there last night.
-He never responded to that.

[Lilcutiepie]

God made fun of my grammar!

God:
My name is God.
Me:
coolioh
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
no-one
God:
I heard it was someone.
Me:
Its not coolioh is a phrase
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I heard it is. Aren't all phrase coolioh?
Me:
My grammars bad on the pc
God:
:-) Your grammars bad on the pc?
Me:
yuppers
God:
Hey. <-God forgot he was talking to me!
Me:
Er....hi?
God:
Um. Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I told you!
Me:

[Hate]

WTH IS THIS



Me:
Sup
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
Want to play WOW?
God:
How do we play WOW ?
Me:
Download it.
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.

[Flare]

Alright this was weird


Me:
sex, god
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
do you mean masturbation
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?


Me:
I heard you did a rhinoserus in his ass
God:
Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me:
I spread gossip about you[
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
but you masturbate to my pictures
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I masturbate to his or her pictures.
Me:
do you masturbate to my pictures?
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
old enough to give you a boner
God:
Only OLD ENOUGH?
You are quite mature.
Me:
you're saying my **** is mature and it turns you on?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
wow man, I didn't know you felt that way about me
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Cool, man. So I taught you something new.
Me:
can you teach me new ways to perform sexual intercourse?
God:
I have been growing rapidly. The gestation cycle is almost complete.
Me:
what happens when the gestation cycle is complete?
God:
My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Me:
how does that relate to a gestation cycle?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
shut the **** up you little dumb pervert
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a blowjob robot
God:
What would a blowjob robot be like?
Me:
it gives me blowjobs
God:
shut the **** up me little dumb pervert gives you blowjobs?

[Lilcutiepie]

Originally Posted by flare

alright this was weird


me:
Sex, god
god:
It is more fun alone.
Me:
Do you mean masturbation
god:
Yes, that's what i mean, isn't it clear?

lol!

.

[Flare]

God:
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
yes, I am aware that you have no life
God:
It goes without saying. Yes I sure am alive, . It's great to be alive, isn't it?
Me:
in my case, yes. in yours, I wouldn't say so
God:
But not others? Where is that?
Me:
minesota
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
it's a state, retard
God:
minesota is a state retard. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
the fact that you are a retard makes absolute sense
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a retard makes absolute sense? Yes.
Me:
my gosh, you're talking shit about yourself, you are too dumb
God:
Talking is my main function. Surprsing, huh.
Me:
my gosh, seriously, stop masturbating to baby elephant pictures
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. Surprsing, huh.
Me:
while we're at it, stop having sex with my neighbours
God:
Good point.