Dear community,
I can't believe you've read through my first letter and actually came back for more. Talk about wasted time. In my 2nd letter to the community I have decided to focus on themes that have yet to be explored by fellow writers. Since the meaning of life and Claudia Schiffer's score on the stroke-ability scale have already been explored, I'm forced to discuss stupid and meaningless things. I'd like to start off with a dear member you may know as Chrizz. Dear Chrizz got a "I volunteered to be Marc's bitch and all I got was this crappy badge" rank next to his name, and that made Chrizz a sad little boy. Chrizz got sadder and sadder, until he started doing craaaazy things like sucking up to Daze and fisting random domestic cats. Don't fist random domestic cats, Chrizz, they might squirt on you.
On a different note, if I'd ever reflect on my time at GI 50 years from now I'll probably recall only 1 person. You guessed it, its Jordan. My friend, your artistic abilities never cease to amaze me. To me, each and every sig you make is like a beacon and a testament for Nietzsche's statement:
Quote:
God is dead
Signed,
Jordan.
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Your graphical sk1llz are not the only thing that sends weird sensations crawling down my spine. What impresses me even more are your literary sk1llz. Allow me to quote from one of your recent writings (for the benefit of those who are yet to indulge in your literature):
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordan
So I got my Nintendo power, in which I love! I went to read it and my brother said let me read it while I potty. I decided to be nice, and I said yes. He took it in there and when he came out no magazine. He dropped it in toilet, and then tried to cover the toilet with a towel......last time ever.
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For those of you who may not be so intelligent as to comprehend this piece of brilliance, I shall now explain: Jordan has purchased a magazine titled "Nintendo Power" (which, according to their site, is "future by name") and then proceeded to constitute a form of feces aroma orgy with his brother. However, his brother failed to complete his part of the orgy (his part being the main one, as he's the supplier of the mentioned 'feces aroma') by dropping the "future by name" into the pit of eternal truth (otherwise known as "a man's fortress" or "toilet"). Out of fear from Jordan's wrath on the failed feces aroma orgy, his brother decided to cleverly camouflage his "boo boo" by covering the toilet with a towel. Now, if we choose to delve deeper into this prose – beyond the elements that society frowns upon - one must wonder: how the fuck did Jordan's brother manage to drop the magazine down the toilet? Any dude that can do that can probably out-hung Chuck Norris. I've taken the liberty to create a quick visual presentation on my theory:
And now for our weekly special "Cobra Is My Name & Rectum Is My Game". Tonight we'll explore another aspect of the complex dude that is Cobra (I call this episode: "Cobra – Behind the Pedophilia"). It has come to my attention that Cobra is a Bleach fan. "But Sal, I'm a normal person, I don't know what Bleach is" you may say – I sympathize. A quick Google search returned the following results:
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalMAX
Bleach (pronounced "Gay-Shit" in Japanese) is an Anime (Japanese for "Sucks ass badly, go get a girlfriend") television show that airs all over the world ("enough to disprove the existence of god" atheist scholars say). In the show, the main character named 'Ichigo' is a Shinigami (the esteemed Japanese profession of male prostitution) high-school student (don't be alarmed folks – 12 is the legal age in Japan) who along with Rukia Kuchiki, a fellow Shinigami who is 150 years old yet looks like a teenager (its amazing what Japanese technology can do. Buy Japan) fights the forces of evil (Children's Rights movement).
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Obviously I was intrigued by the character of Ichigo, who Cobra so admires, so once again I turned to Google and found the man behind Ichigo. BEHOLD, THE PERSON COBRA LOOKS UP TO:
Any dude who admires a person that looks like Yoko Ono in her youth goes right to the top of my blacklist. For those who don't know, the blacklist contains the names of people that I'll buy then fire.
Moving on to a completely different topic: stop waving your flassed e-penises around to try and impress Soapy. This is what you have in mind:
This is reality:
Is that enough to extinguish your desires to cybersex her? If not, who am I to judge? As that fag singer said: "Big girls, you are beautiful".
In conclusion,
you will co-operate with my bunghole. For there is but one bunghole - the "Almighty Bunghole".
Thank you, and sorry for the inconvinience,
Salmax.
Salmax's 2nd Letter to the Community
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Although i thought you were gonna mention Ahlto in this one.
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