The Real Salmax

[SalMAX]

^^From the picture you can clearly see that I'm fluent with the teachings of the Kama-Sutra^^

Alright, lets start this off with a joke, Harry walks into a girl's bedroom and says: "I have a big cock", okay, now that the joke is over, I thought its time to share some of the Salmax mojo with the rest of you guys/girls/in-between.

Name - Pooky - Destroyer of Worlds.

Age - 69.

Birthday - 29th February.

Hobbies -
1) Slaying owls and spraying their blood on the homeless.
2) Biting the shoulders of Hippies.
3) Building cute little houses for my barbies.
4) Taking over the world using my insane mass of cock.
5) Terrorising Nighty using the same insane mass of cock.
6) Beating up Frenchies with their baguettes.
7) Licking my gaping belly-button.
8 ) Ridiculing Harry's incredibly over-sized rectum (which has to be the result of a wild night with a few over-sized African giants).

Stuff I hate - Idiots, pricks, French (take a bath), Dutch, German, Belguims, racists, hypocrites, pandas (whats up with that? they only live in the Sichuan area and only eat bamboo, but bamboo only grows in Eastern provinces. WTF?!), poor use of the word "Rectum" and so on...

Humor - I like all kinds of humor. I really like seeing comedians improvise on stage, especially when silencing hecklers. I once saw Dave Attelle silencing a heckler, he was incredible. He managed to finish the joke he was telling, then instantly change the tone of his humor to completely annihilate the heckler. A true master...

Games - Haven't really played anything for a few years. I love some of the old favourites though, like Diablo and Mortal Kombat, and my all-time favourite: TWIST THE NIPPLE (which has gained tremendous popularity in Afghanistan.)

Movies - "One Night In Paris", "2 Girls 1 Cup", "Bryanna & Friends" and of course "Sophie's Orgasm" (the full, uncensored 21 hours version).

Music - On a more serious note (get it?) heres the music I like:
Rock, in all its glory. Also, all of the old goldies, 50s and such. Classical music is great as well.

Some artwork I posted on GI -
Salmax's Letter To the Community, 2 New Sigs. and Ascedancy, oh hai there! Those are just the 1st pages in which I posted, keep reading through the next few pages, it usually just keeps getting better.


ALL THE HOES IN THE HOUSE SAY YO HO!

[Neo]

Holy shit Pooky, get a wig!

[Cyber Altair]

that's epic, thread of the year =/

[face123]

Dont think that there's a 29th of February

[mare.]

Originally Posted by Cyber Altair

that's epic, thread of the year =/

nah this is.

[Drift]

you my friend, are a legend =]

[Violator]

You, my friend, are a stellar artist
And YO HO!!!

[Monkiwrench]

This thread is full of win, no?

[SalMAX]

Thanks for the love people. I wasn't sure if I should expose myself to you guys like that, but you're taking it very well.

P.S no reply from the man upstairs... That makes me a sad panda.

[FUBAR]

lol. What about those holy wars?

[Cyber Altair]

btw how did you get such a long hair =p

[SalMAX]

Originally Posted by Cyber Altair

btw how did you get such a long hair =p

I shaved the pubes of a thousand men and duct-taped it to my head.

[Cyber Altair]

Originally Posted by SalMAX

I shaved the pubes of a thousand men and duct-taped it to my head.

XD

Epic m8

[Violator]

Did you dye those pubes white afterwards? Cuz they're sexy.

btw mind giving me some of that Salmax mojo while you're at it? ;D

[Zero]

You my friend are amazing.